Alice Haines, Auditorium Interview

In a industry where budding actors and actresses will do almost anything to get their “big break” there is a lot of realization that, if you are not one of the lucky 2% of actors to be employed by the profession full time, the life of an actor may not be for you. Alice Haines, found acting after completing a degree in Physiology, she has however, decided against becoming a full time actress. I took the opportunity to find out why.

1. What is your earliest memory of Theatre?
Being taken to see a panto at Richmond Theatre when I was about four. Can't remember which one but I do remember wearing black patent leather shoes with white spots! Around the same time I remember going to see things at the Polka Theatre in Wimbledon.

2. What first interested you in the theatre industry?
My great uncle, Irving Davies, was a choreographer and I grew up hearing his stories of shows he had worked on and thinking what a fascinating life that would be and how wonderful it would be to get paid to entertain people. Not that that persuaded me to want to go into theatre in any capacity. At school I wasn't involved in anything remotely theatrical, gave up drama as soon as I could and ended up doing science A Levels and a degree in physiology.

3. What is your most beloved theatre memory?
It's become a bit of a joke in my family that my parents cannot go to the theatre without someone in the audience falling spectacularly ill. As I used to go with them quite often, I've seen quite a number of people staggering out of the auditorium or collapsing in the aisle. Each time it's happened I've been full of admiration for the actors ploughing on, seemingly oblivious to the hoo-hah going on - I'm incapable of taking my eyes off it. Anyway, to return to the question, it always makes me smile when I remember, during a performance of something rather dull (doesn't matter what), a woman sitting in the middle of a row suddenly standing up and looking round, meerkat-like, before projectile-vomiting over several people in the row in front of her. The ensuing fuss was one hell of a lot more interesting than what was going on on stage!

4. What is your favourite play?
I don't have a favourite play, as such. I love plays which make me laugh, whether the humor is physical, verbal, farce, I don't mind as long as it's funny. At the other end of the spectrum, I cannot stand anything that takes itself too seriously. I have no problem with serious plays which tell a good story but I loath plays which forget that their primary purpose is to ENTERTAIN. Same goes for musicals and operas - I want songs I can sing on the way home!

5. Who are your theatre idols?
I don't think I really have any "idols". There are certain people whose involvement in something would make me want to see it - Alex Jennings springs to mind, and Tamsin Greig - but without the sort of blind adoration that would leave me incapable of giving it a fair appraisal.

6. Who is your favourite Play- write and why?
Again, I'm going to have to sit on the fence. I like Noel Coward, Oscar Wilde, Ben Jonson, Michael Frayn, Alan Ayckbourn and I could go on. I won't because it would get rather tedious after a while.

7. What was it about acting that first intrigued you?
I got into acting by accident. After university I worked in film production and wanted to direct commercials. I started making some short films and realized very quickly that I had absolutely no idea what the actors I was working with needed from me as a director. I felt that the best way to solve this problem was to do some acting myself, so I enrolled on the foundation course at ArtsEd. Where I discovered that I really loved acting.

8. What made you decide against perusing a career as an actress?
Initially, after the foundation course, I did decide to pursue an acting career. But then it dawned on me that, boring but true, I'd probably spend more of my life doing jobs other than acting just to earn a living. And I really hate temping!

9. What do you think of the theatre industry?
That's a very hard question to answer as I'm really not sure what you're asking. Good, on balance.

10. If a play was to be made of your life; what would it be called? What genre would it be? And who would play you?
I once played a game with some friends where we had to write slogans to advertise each other. Mine was "Doesn't do things by halves". I think that might make a good title. Sort of sums me up. It would have to be a comedy. I mentioned earlier that I don't like plays that take themselves too seriously. Well, I don't take life too seriously, being a chronic optimist and usually keen to find an amusing side to a situation. As for who would play me, ideally I'd like to do it, although that might not be the best idea, either creatively or pragmatically. As an alternative, several people have told me that I remind them of Rosamund Pike. I think it's the English rose thing. She'd do very nicely, thank you very much!